Double Agent's survival guide


 * This page was made by the gay Double Agent.

Introduction
Zomie outbreaks are very unlikely to happen, but if you do get caught in one, remember these tips. They could save your life.

Tips
If you are caught in a city or town you know well, you should have no problem finding a way out of there. However, if an outbreak happens when you're on holiday/somewhere new to you, make sure you have a good map of the area so you can navigate with ease. It also helps if you can read a map.
 * Know the area well.

Going out in a vest and underpants will get you killed. Seirously. Not only would other survivors get uneasy with you nearby, but you could freeze to death and have no protection against broken glass or jagged metal. Wearing some jeans that haven't been ripped are a good defence against leg attacks. If you haven't got any light boots, wellingtons or trainers would do. Shin and elbow pads can help if a zombie manages to pull up the leg of your trousers or if you elbow them in the face. A thick coat with a good amount of pockets can help to resist attacks and help carry items. If you haven't got something like that, a winter jumper will do instead. Wear your underwear, of course, and a thin t-shirt or short-sleeve shirt to cool you down after running away. It is also a good idea to have some gloves like cycling gloves to give your hands some protection.
 * Wear some lightweight but strong clothing.

NOTE: This is for urban conditions. If you're out somewhere like a forest, a desert during summer or any other place, improvise something that would help you in those environments.

It can get dark, and you wouldn't want to jump head-first into a zombie ambush. Make sure that you have a good, bright torch. It would be ideal if it is rechargable as battries could weigh you down.
 * Bring a torch.

If Resident Evil is to be believed, having a good storage option is a good idea. Something like a bum bag, side bag, a small backpack or a small gym bag can help if your pockets are full. Don't carry a heavy rucksack. It might be good exersise, but a worn down human is easy food for the undead.
 * Use a lightweight bag for carrying items.

It will be a long time before you sink your teeth into a hamburger, so pack food like energy bars, ready to eat food or tinned goods (So take a can opener just in case). Under NO circumstances should you drink tap water. It could have been contaminated with the virus. Take some bottled water or energy drinks you can get from a supermarket instead.
 * Pack ready-to-eat food.

If you get cut or scraped by something, apply disinfectant and put a plaster on at once. It can resist infection and will be on it's way to healing. Disinfectant will sting, but it beats shambling around eating raw fleash while you have the IQ of a jellyfish.
 * Treat wounds immedietly.

Kitchen knives, all-purpose knives, screwdrivers, police riot batons, a boxing glove (One to save weight), sporting bats (Hockey sticks, cricket or baseball bats) or anything you could carry with ease helps if you need to get past a zombie. Using a chainsaw could get some infected blood splattered on you or into your mouth, so it might be best to keep that as a last resort. Plastic lightsabers are not ideal.
 * Always have some kind of melée weapon.

You don't have to shoot a real gun, that could get you arrested. Try practising with a BB gun or air rifle so you know more or less how a gun works. Then you could hold back the hoarde long enough to escape. Using a Wiimote attachment is not good enough, sunshine!
 * Have some firearm experience.

You won't need a shotgun unless you're facing a massive hoarde of creatures, Headcrab zombies or any nasty mutants like a Licker. Compact shotguns or lever-action/magazine fed shotguns are a good choice if you do choose one. A pistol can be more useful than an AK-47. You can pick off your targets with ease or accurately defeat a zombie. It might be a good idea to have a light machine gun such as an MP7, but keep a pistol as a primary weapon. Less guns mean less ammo to lug about. It might be a good idea to have a scope and silencer, or one of the two.
 * If you're going to carry a gun, have a pistol.

Study the place you are in carefully (Though this is hard to do when running away). Look out for anything dangerous like an open sewer cover or anything that would pounce at you by the water's edge. Being careful is better than getting eaten. And try to avoid going to the zoo. There's no telling if the zombie virus infected the animals in there too.
 * Keep your wits about you.

You're NOT on some deathmatch TV show or leading a crusade. Run away whenever you get the chance.
 * Don't fight every single zombie you see.

If all else fails, run. Clear the path of some zombies and leg it to the escape route you chose. If it's locked or you're backed into a corner, you're a gonner.
 * Always have an escape route.